KNUCKLEHEADS
Let’s get something straight right off the bat—we’re all knuckleheads at times. We all do things that are offensive and can hurt people. We can all be obnoxious and rude.
However, there are those special “church” knuckleheads who can suck the life out of church leaders and their congregations. If you’ve been a Christian long enough, you know what I mean.
In his classic work, The Fight: A Practical Guide for Christian Living, John White says, “You will discover that some Christians are stupid, ornery, tactless; ‘stuffed shirts,’ prudes, hypocrites and so on. Some will be bigoted advocates of totally unacceptable political positions, and others will slurp their soup or have bad breath.” In a word—knuckleheads!
I’m sure there are people coming to mind as you read this, but let me share one of my own stories. In my first pastorate, there was an older couple who not only were my next door neighbors but also parishioners in that small Alliance church. You know what kind of church I’m talking about—the struggling church they give to young preachers just out of seminary to cut their teeth on. It had lots of challenges and lots of problems and lots of people who were causing those problems.
I had been mentored well and was told repeatedly that I was never to make any major changes in the church during my first year of ministry. I heeded that advice for the most part, but by the second year I had to make a change. Although I had been nurtured on the New International Version (NIV), I had tried my best in that first year to preach from the King James Version (KJV). It was not only a struggle for me, but it was also an enormous problem for people new to the Scriptures. After securing the approval of the elders and the governing board, I set out to prepare the congregation for a translation change. I knew this would be very difficult for some of the “KJV only” people, so I tried to sensitively and thoroughly explain the issues. I preached on how we got the Bible and the history of Bible translation. I made sure that I honored the KJV translation and explained my sincere desire to keep an open mind to their arguments.
Finally, there came the Sunday when the pews were filled with the new NIV Bibles. I expected some push-back and maybe even some folks to leave the church, but I did not expect the let-ter I received the next day: “Dear Pastor, I was deeply hurt this past Sunday; in fact, I cried all during the service. This change was a complete shock to us. We had no idea that you intended to make this change [even though I had been talking about it from the pulpit for two months!]. This is a serious matter! I do not believe in arguing about religion. The Holy Spirit is the only teacher, and the fruit of the Spirit is important to me. I purposefully have refrained from expressing my opinion up to this point. However, my husband and I believe that we have no other choice but to leave this church. I hope my husband has no ill effects from this experience. His blood pressure is up, and he has had trouble breathing.”
I can laugh about this today, but at the time, when I was a young pastor, a note like this hurt deeply. So, what do you do with the knuckleheads in your church? There is really no pat answer that can be applied to every situation. Some knuckleheads need to be met head-on and confronted with their sin. Some knuckleheads need patience and prayer. And some simply need to be left alone for God to deal with.
For many pastors, nothing has quite the potential to cut as deeply as when someone unjustly judges our motives and intentions. Here’s where we need to remember John White’s counsel: “For the present it is enough to remember that God loves them even though you find it hard to. You must also be charitable enough to admit that there may be unattractive features in your own personality. You don’t wear robes and sandals yourself.
“Finally, you must realize that the same new life that is in you, is in them as well. Look well at their faults and see for yourself that the miracle of new life does not guarantee beauty of character.”
Quotes are from John White. The Fight: A Practical Guide for Christian Living (Downer’s Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press).
Rev. Dennis Episcopo is senior pastor at Appleton [Wis.] Alliance Church and is a frequent speaker at retreats, conferences and NFL chapels. Dennis is currently completing his doctorate in church leadership at Denver Seminary. He and his wife, Judy, have been married for 23 years and have three children.
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There seems to be a trend among pastors to attack their congregants in print and I am saddened to see this article in Alliance Life. Yes, parishioners cause problems, but pastors have been known to destroy churches, also. I am not defending either one. I have seen situations on both sides. If a parishioner had written an article about a pastor who caused problems and called him a name, would it have been printed?
Without knowing the situation Dennis Episcopo refers to, I cannot really understand the reaction of the elderly couple. Perhaps they did not understand what was about to take place or perhaps they did not hear well. Maybe they just held to the strong feeling that some have that we should use the King James version. Would it have been a more pastorly approach to have spoken with the couple to show loving concern? And I am supposing that they are no longer alive or they would see themselves in print.
There is so much division anymore. Let’s not add to it by name-calling. Even though Rev. Episcopo quotes a reference that pastors are not perfect, either, and gives good counsel by it, the article does more harm than good by its tone and approach. There are better, less divisive ways to approach this.
I am hoping that Jesus Christ will reverse the trend and lead pastors to be servants and shepherds who can write ways they mended differences and healed division. In this day, we all need to hear about those who loved enough to put self aside and extend the grace of God, working to unite the Body of Christ.
We are “Living the Call Together.”
I read Alliance Life monthly and when I noticed the article titled “Knuckleheads” I knew that it had to be Pastor Dennis from Appleton Alliance. We are now living in Thailand and attending a church here. We miss our home church (Appleton Alliance) as I have told Pastor Dennis numerous times “we miss his sermons”. When coming back to the U.S. during Easter, it was so refreshing to hear Pastor Dennis preach on Easter Sunday. We just prayed prior to coming to this service that he would be the preacher on that cold Easter morning. Thanks to the wonderful Internet, we can listen to Pastor Dennis Episcopo’s sermons online over thousands of miles away.
In my opinion, changes are good and not just in the churches but in life itself. When people in the church are dead weight, they are not moving the church forward but hindering its growth. I like what the above comment stated – We are “Living the Call together”. I believe that Pastors are servants of God and help by teaching and leading his church body which helps everyone grow in the Word. We are all human and sinners and obviously there are situations on both sides, Pastors as well as their congregations.
I also read articles in the past few months about a Pastor in Kansas City who told his congregation he wanted to make the world a complaint-free place. He passed out purple bracelets to each church member (hopefully himself included) and offered them a challenge. The idea was to keep this bracelet on for at least 21 days as it is believed that it takes this long to form a new habit. He believes if everyone would stop complaining, the world would be a much better place. This challenge has exploded in popularity, and according to this Pastor, 1.3 million people in 80 countries have requested the purple bracelets. The world will never be complaint free but the person that wore these bracelets and abided by this challenge possibly had a weight lifted off of them and was healthier physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Pastor Dennis, thank you for this article. Again, I learned a lot and it opened my eyes and made me think of all my downfalls and where I can improve. Consistent negativity is not healthy, but we all have to voice our concerns on issues in life in a proper respectable way.
Chiang Mai, Thailand
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